User blog:InvaderTenn/LATE Valentine's Day story
Random announcer: Hello, and welcome to a Valentine’s Day story, written in honor of Invader Zara’s birthday and this horrible human holiday. And hold on, here it says who wrote it- OH SWEET IRK! Invader Tenn wrote this? INVADER TENN?! Oh no… RUN WHILE YOU STILL BLOODY CAN, YOU FOOL- ' Tenn': *shoves announcer off stage* That’s quite enough, Rodney! Hello, and welcome to a Valentine ’s Day story, written for Zara. Romance, bloodlust and insanity shall probably ensue. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! So, the entire idea of this story is to show what sort of Valentine’s Day Maria, Zara and I endure before meeting up to Zara’s EPIC birthday party. Yes, here be romance. Not the entire thing! And, yes, I am writing lovey-dovey stuffs. And yes, this is the same person who enjoys writing gore-filled stuffs. Tenn: '''*later* I do apologize if this turns out horribly wrong… I’m working on a really gory story and was listening to “Count the Bodies like Sheep (to the Rhythm of the War Drums)” while writing this… *sheepish grin*. I don’t usually do lovey-dovey stuffs. And by listening, I mean totally full-on blasting it while running high on soda pop. Eh, well. If stuff like that doesn’t scare you, or if you really like scaring your family, I highly recommend blasting it whenever possible. It’s by A Perfect Circle. :D. Now, onto the story!!!!!!!! XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx '''Maria Ah, Valentine’s Day. A holiday celebrated even in Irken society. All about love, happiness, romance, cheap chocolate, and clichéd phrases. It is not my favorite holiday. Of course, I like SOME aspects of Valentine’s Day. It is a day meant to be spent with that one person who understands you, the one you love. You can freely express this in the street with a limited amout of scowls and dirty looks. It is a day full of romantic guys and sappy girls and- And a lot of stuff that never happens to me. So whenever Red came to sweep me off my feet and take me to some planet full of chocolate, I was equal parts excited and wary. Nevertheless, we jumped into a Voot cruiser and typed in this planet’s name. Dessertia. So we went out on the cruiser, he pointing out various constellations and mentioning a bit of the current state of the Empire and how so-and-so planet was conquered and so-and-so race was regretfully exterminated… I really wasn’t listening, given the fact my mind was on the gigantic feat that awaited me on Nobelis, a planet inhabited by Zara for the fact she’s of Irken royalty. Her birthday was today, and I was nervous; what if she doesn’t like her gift, what if I’m late, what if- I shoved these thoughts out of my head. I was here, with Red, on Valentine’s Day, and I’ll be darned if I would let that go for thoughts of the future. I opened my mouth to say something… And was cut off by the announcement of the cruiser. “We have arrived at the specified planet, Tallest Red.” The automated voice deadpanned. We hurried out, glad to stretch our legs on land. Red took out a map and pointed out the direction we should wander until we come across a cluster of buildings. My mouth watered with the thought of the chocolate that awaited us. We wandered up for a while, the violent green of the hard-packed metal that covered the planet’s outside vibrating under our feet. It seemed weird, for a planet of chocolate and sugar. In fact, I read it was a planet made of gold; a useless metal, but pretty. We continued walking, a bit unnerved. On the dark red horizon, some strange lights came towards us, silver and gold and so pretty… My mind flashed back to a planet where evil beings of gold and silver light dwelled, cast from their own kind and left to mutate. They could emit hallucinogenic toxins that could drive one insane and give them full control of the one inhaling the toxins. They were called Sprites, after the folklore told about them, and it’s said that they reside on a planet the not even the Irken’s have attempted to conquer. A planet called Desertia. Desertia. Dessertia. Spelling had never been Red’s strong point. Quickly, my eyes flew to Red’s, who revealed the exact same realization. The Sprites loved nothing more than to play with people, and we must’ve been their new toy. “Run.” He said. We turned around and fled, and I blindly ran until everything starting going black. The blackness was shiny, and it swirled with so many different swirling colors, all glossy greens and blues and violent purple. It swirled restlessly, swallowing us whole. I cried out for Red at the same time, and screamed until I couldn’t. I voice deep inside me said, “Let go, let go.” It was soft, like a melody, and so sweet, surely it meant me know harm? “Let go.” A whisper. And so I did. I awoke to a blinding shimmering of gold. It scattered light as if perfectly cut glass and the sun patches I lied in felt pleasantly warm. When my vision focused, I saw a golden canopy of golden leaves on tall trees. I tried to sit up and immediately sank back down as my eyes filled themselves with black holes, feeling light-headed. I turned my head and saw Red lying on my right side, and felt relief course through me. Time passed, though how much I could not say. I knew I had to go somewhere, and I thought I was in danger, but for the life of myself I just couldn’t figure out why. It was maddening; I lay there, unable to move unless I did not try to, not blinking if I made an effort to. I trained my mind to just move, with no intention of getting up, and then I could. However, if I tried to make myself get up, I went into full paralysis. I’ve never been good at lying to myself. After a while, I heard a soft groan come from Red. “Maria?” He asked, dazed. He sat up, and I found myself able to as well. We stood and looked around, gasping at some of the things. There were silver butterflies, the prettiest of fruit, and for goodness’s sakes, the woodland creatures were made of GEMS and JEWLS. Garnet bunnies, amber ants, diamond chipmunks, sapphire birds, and on and on! It… it felt like magic. I’d never had much use for the smeethood fantasy, but this… this had to be magic. We gaped and squealed and fawned over every new discovery, and then he hugged me, swinging me around while we laughed breathlessly. We collapsed on the ground and watched the twinkles of the trees. Eventually, he got up and wandered to see something else. I laid, contend, on the emerald ground, happy to stay where I was. When he wandered out of clear sight and into blurry fuzzy shadow-outline-vision, a little girl came to me. I say little, not just because the girl could not have been more than eight, but also because she was little. She would fit perfectly in the palm of my hand. She had sapphire, iridescent winds, and her hair and eyes and dress and skin were all in varying and stunning shades of blue. “You can stay, you know.” She said, and I fell in love with her lyrical voice. It was so sweet, sweeter than any substance on Irk OR the proper Dessertia. I shook my head slowly, confused but not quite able to care. She tilted her head to the side and smiled. “Yes you can! You can have anything you want here! But, it of course comes with a price.” She said. She then glanced towards Red. “You see, I don’t trust him very much.” I opened my mouth, to defend Red, but shut it just as quickly. I would listen to her, just for a moment, just to hear her voice. “See, this thing about Red; I don’t think he treats you right, see? I mean, he left you, so alone, for so long. And even now, he is not worthy of you! He took you to the wrong PLANET, Maria. You could’ve been killed!” She looked at me, eyes wide, “And we’d never want that to happen to you, no. See, we love you Maria. And he… he stands between us.” Already she seemed to start to fade. I’d been holding onto her every word, and I was frantic she’d leave, and take all her love with her. “What do I have to do?” I asked her, and just like that, she was full again. “Simple,” a silver dagger materialized in my hand, heavy and weighed down by gigantic sapphires. “You must kill him.” I thousand thoughts and revelations hit me. I saw Red, never there, not contacting me, not even bothering to LOVE me. I saw him screw things up, again and again, and saw him being a total idiot and not listening to me. I saw the dagger, and I saw his back. I stood up slowly. “That a girl.” The beautiful sighed, and I started towards Red. “Maria! Come see this!” He said as I approached, and I feigned interest in two jade turtles. “See how they hide?” he asked, clearly blown away. “I wish we could stay,” he said, sighing. “We can.” I replied. “How?” “Close your eyes.” I raised the dagger, and was about to plunge it in, sever his squeedily splooch and be free, when he just had to peek. “Maira!” He shouted, tackling me. The dagger flew far out of my hand, and Red and I rolled over the ground, coming to a stop with me pinned under him. “Maria!” He said, looking at me. He waited until I stopped struggling. “Maria, you need to wake up. Wake up.” I blinked as the colors on the trees started to morph, and they fell form the trees and started to morph into this sort of Hell, as though we’d gone into a nightmare realm. I blinked and sat up, standing with the help of Red as I spun around to see an army of Spirites, all none too happy we’d bested them. “Maria…” “RUN!” “No problem.” We made it back to the cruiser, and call it fate or luck or coincidence, but we made it off the planet. We looked at each-other for a minute, and then he said something so irritating, so stupid and so funny, I had to laugh. “Fine. Next time, we’ll ask for directions.” XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX Zara It was a perfect day outside, on the day of love and happiness and joy. My boyfriend said he’d be here, said he’d come, and like a fool, I listened… Everyone got to do fun, amazing and happy stuff on their birthdays, while I sat in Foodcortia, on my birthday, listening to my brother drabble on about politics and trying not to give into the ever-mounting urge to gorge out his eyes. “And then, of course, the Resisty is always an issue-” Zora droaned on. ‘''Why is his voice so… ugh!’'' “What time is it?” “Five minutes from when you last asked me. Anyways…” “Did I ever tell you how Billy and I met?” I asked after a while, interrupting yet again but not really caring. “No, you only told me he’d be here, and I’d meet him. Both seem to be false-” “Let me tell you the story.” And thus I began. “I was sitting here, three years ago, on this day, Valentine’s Day. This time, you were the one who was late… I was sitting at the café, sipping a milkshake and thinking of all the horrible things I’d do to Zora when he showed up. Another Irken burst through the door, breathing heavily and looking frantic. “You!” he shouted, pointing at me. “Me?” “Could you please hide me?” My confusion must’ve shown. I wondered if today would be exciting, after all. “Please! I have a few enemies, and long story short, I have some little evil Janitorial robots after me!” “Oh, is that all?” I asked, slightly disappointed. He looked shocked and insulted, so I motioned for him to follow me as I ran up the staircase and to the roof. The roof gave a good vantage point at the street below as I whipped out a Mega5000 water cannon. His eyes grew wide as I aimed it at the street below, training on the robots that were after him. “Child’s play.” I declared as I finished, and then he turned to me, speechless. “Can… can I buy you a milkshake?” He asked hesitantly. I nodded as we went down and seated ourselves at one of the small tables and we talked. It was wonderful, this talk. The both of us just went on (and on and on) about everything and anything. Billy was funny, and he was so positive, so that even I was cheered up at the saddest of subjects. And when I spoke, he paid attention with an intensity that was almost alarming. We kept it up for so long, it soon turned dark. We stepped out of the café, laughing, and were stopped in our tracks by several janitorial robots. Our night was far from over. “So, after several run-ins with these robots and a slow demolition of them all, he promised to meet me here when his mission was done, in three years.” I sighed, and said, “But he’s not here.” Zora opened his mouth to say something when the café started to shake. The doors groaned, and then blew off their hinges as an avalanche of roses filled the room, and a certain Irken was in front of me, with a present in hand, smiling. I smirked at Zora. “I told you so.” XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX XxXxXxXxX Tenn It was February 14th, Valentine’s Day. Today I had to sneak onto the planet Magnettia to steal a fairly rare type of metal, Verques, of which is so rare and desired Irk has not invaded for the fact it may be harmed. We made only the finest of weapons out of it, and it cost a pretty sum of monies. Not to mention the locals, Sylvians, were very protective of it and had half of their milita trained as ninjas. And I, Invader Tenn, was going to sneak onto this planet. I was also going to steal this metal. There is a backstory to all my madness. First of all, Shardas decided it would be a very good idea to charge around the house shouting because the teapot was chasing him. So he ran into the clockwork of the tower, which happened to be a chaotic mess of whirling gears and cogs and any number of pendulums to knock you into something. Needless to say, Shardas crashed and broke himself. And therefore I was initiating a suicide mission to re-make his body with this metal. Sometimes, I really wonder if I’m insane, in a bad way. And thus with these happy thoughts to occupy my mind, I landed on the planet… And straight into the arms of the Sylvians. I did what anyone would do; I cursed, screamed, and fought against some really strong handcuffs. They took me into their palace, down to the dungeons, and shackled me to the wall. After they were gone and I had calmed down enough to breath like I was not going asphyxiate at any moment, I started thinking of the position I was in. I came up with this; -I was a lone Irken Invader in enemy territory -Shardas was broken, and could not come to my rescue -No one knows where I am -Zara is going to murder me if I miss her party I started twisting here and there in the shackles, screaming. Eventually, curses and insults gave way to random streams of nonsense and screams. “I am an INVADER, you scum-sucking Sylvians. You vile, uncomprehending naysayers! You evil, ignorant ne’er do wells! And Shardas… oh, Shardas! LET ME OUT!!!! NOW. I am not here to destroy your stupid planet!!!!!!! AGH!!!! Phosophates stained red…. Red letters…. Valentine’s Day… BUMBLEBEES AND FOXES!!!!!!!!!!!!!... Sssssssnakkkkkkkeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss…Step away from the window…. Sponges are ssscccary…. Oh my god, it’s GOD!...…………..Sicknesss…………Go back to sleep……I can't sleep......….. AGHHHHH IT’S ALIVE!!!!!!!” I have not a clue what happened in that cellar, but it involved a lot of screaming and panicking. Eventually I fell into a weird half-consciousness, and woke to see light from orbs behind the bars of the cell I was in leave a jail-bird pattern on my Invader apparel. “Well, new cell buddy, what did you do to get here?” Said a voice from the other side of the cell, a voice I felt I knew too much. My head snapped towards him, and I saw the familiar Vortian horns I’d avoided for so long. “Lard Nar!” I shouted, voice both accusing and astounded. “Well, how- Tenn.” He said, recognizing me just after I did him. Total silence swelled, and we both glared, thinking of the last time we’d seen each other, and how we’d both hoped it would be the last. “The last time I saw you, you nearly killed me.” He said, voice flat. “The last time I saw you, you were trying to Vort.” “And you stopped me!” “You would’ve been killed, you idiot! You NEVER listened to me, not for anything, and ESPECIALLY not when you were working on the precious MASSIVE!” “Is this what it’s about? That I was a better INVENTOR than you?” “You were NEVER a better inventor than I.” He and I stared at one-another for a while. Breaking off eye contact, I scowled at the floor. “This isn’t helping us get out of here.” “Get out? Do you have any idea how secure this place is?! We’d be caught before you can run three paces! The only way we could ever get out would be by the scap tower, where they dump all their scrap metal, and even then we’d have to figure out how to get down! It’s hopeless! Any way out of here, Tenn?!” He shouted, ranting. I thought for a bit… scrap metal, eh?... and smiled slowly, my eyes growing wide. “What are- oh. Oh dear Vort, she has an idea. Oh no, oh no, Tenn? What are you planning, Tenn? TENN?” I smiled at him. “Do you know how to get to this tower, Nar?” “Lard Nar.” “Invader Tenn.” “Tenn.” “Nar.” He scowled. “Well, yes, I do, but how will you get us out if here, Tenn?” I smiled some more, relishing in the look of terror that it produced from Nar. “I have a few tricks up my sleeve.” X “You carry ACID. You carry ACID. Why I the heck do you carry ACID?” “Do you know what the streets of Irk are like at night, Nar? All sorts of bad people.” “Bad people carrying acid?” “Exactly. It makes everyone else run away.” “You… You’re impossible.” I nodded and put a hand out, stopping him. Holding up a finger, my antennae twitched as I picked up a low-frequency vibration. I pulled him into the shadows, and held my hand over his mouth, stopping any protest. Not a second later, a Sylvian guard lumbered by, and turned the corner. I stayed there another minute, and then cautiously crept out, dragging Lard Nar with me. “Um… thanks.” He said, and his tone of voice made me glance at him. He was blushing like mad, and I assumed it was from embarrassment that he could not see the guard coming. I nodded slightly and continued around the corner, following close to him. We made good time around the palace, and soon were far up the spiral staircase leading to the tower. “So, ummmm… my ship got wrecked…” He said around halfway up our ascent. I stopped and looked at him. “You’re joking, right? Having a laugh?” I said, desperately hoping it was the case. Lard Nar stood in front of me, sheepish and arrogant… and hopeful. He was terrified of what the Sylvians would do. I sighed, and then took out a mechanical spider from my PAK, one I’d constructed to retrieve whatever I needed. “I was going to get you out, go back, get the metal, and leave… But I guess this has been enough excitement for one morning.” I said, sighing. I started back up the stairs, and Nar continued as well. We eventually got to the top, and stepped into a junkyard of abandoned scrap metal and gadgets. We froze, astounded at the find and, if I was honest, felling greedy and envious. Lard Nar snapped out of it first and dragged me to the window. “Well, what’s your plan? Got another spaceship in your PAK?” “Hahaha.” I said, deadpan. I stumbled aroung, picking up wire and cloth and as much useful material as I could find. I then took out a blank piece of blueprints and started to draw furiously. Now, usually I would do this all myself, and when it was done be proud and astound people and the whole nine yards… but I made the mistake of looking up, something I never do. I saw the longing in his face, gazing at the machinery. And… the sooner I got out the better…. And okay. I felt for him. Fine, I said it, and I admit it. Finishing the blueprints with the flourish of a signature, I looked at him again. “Well, are you helping or not?” I said, making my tone impatient as I looked down and started making the frame. But even with my concentration, I couldn’t miss his smile. I don’t think he missed mine, either. X It was still foggy outside on Magnettia, meaning we must not have been there more than five hours, seeing as I arrived sometime at midnight. We looked at each-other nervously, and then at the ground so far below. “Well… it’s a long way to fall…” He said slowly, fidgeting in the straps that kept him in the contraption, looking at me. “It always is.” I said. We jumped out the window, and glided over the wind on the mechanical wings. It was basically a hang glider, made of lots of scrap metal and fabric. My mechanical spider was in my PAK, along with all the metal needed for Shardas. We swooped closer to the ground, and leveled out enough to be able to pass just by my Voot cruiser. “Jump!” One of us shouted, and we did, the glider crashing in front of us. We were knocked to the ground and just laid there for a bit, staring at the sky. I have not a clue which one of us started laughing first, but it seemed we could not stop. We then looked around nervously, jumped into the cruiser, got off that poisonous planet, and started laughing again. X “Well, sorry if you had plans for this morning. Any girl in your life, Nar?” I asked teasingly, not wanting to exactly say goodbye just yet. I mean, that’d be one awkward goodbye. He smirked and said, “Jealous, Tenn?” “I only wish to warn her, and perhaps lend her a shovel in case things go… wrong.” I said, making my voice dead serious. His eyes widened, and it was my turn to smirk. “None; dealing with my enemies is quite enough, not to mention having a ‘special someone.’” “Have many enemies, then, Nar? Maybe I am jealous.” “Please, you’re more than enough to deal with. Cheating on you would be suicide.” I looked at him and tilted my head, my eyes welling with tears. Noticing them, Nar rushed on. “Oh, no, Tenn, I didn’t mean like-” “That is the nicest thing anyone’s said to me all year.” I interrupted, smiling and flinging myself at him. He caught me, flabbergasted as I hugged him in a death-grip, trying to get my smile under control. After a minute, I pulled away, my face dead serious yet again. We looked at eachother, and he sheepishly held out a hand for me to shake as farewell. I did, and asked him, “You’re sure the Resisty will pick you up here?” I was still concerned. I did not just drag him out of that place to get him caught by something else. Not that I particularly cared, one way or the other. “Yeah. Um, shouldn’t you try and stop me or something, being all… Irken and stuff?” He asked, clearly uncomfortable. I laughed. “That’s Red and Purple, and maybe Maria’s job. Not mine, thank goodness.” “Oh… okay, well…” I sighed. People who weren’t good with goodbyes never ceased to annoy me, but I felt it was more like he was lingering… probably because I just saved his moron Vortian butt from starving slowly in a cellar. Yeah, that’s it. I did the last thing I could to make sure I could scare him off and make sure he never contacted me again. We escaped death together, we weren’t tied together for all eternity with gratitude and happiness and love and la de da. So I did the only thing I could do to make sure he left for good. I wrapped my arms around his neck… and kissed him on the cheek. He stood a moment, shell-shocked and turning red, as I got into my cruiser and left for my home, hopefully with enough time to fix Shardas and get to the party on time-ish. “Farefar, Nar, you and the Resisty.” I said, giving him a proper wave. He waved as well, seemingly still stunned. I flew away, back to my own complex. I tried to ignore how hard I was smiling. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Well, that's my newest story. I will now continue to work on the story, but for now, I PARTY!!!!!!!!!! Mardi Gras; you gotta love it. GAH Zara's part is so short, so I made mine reeaalllyyyy long... EH. I can't make myself care right now. Too much to do. Happy Birthday, Zara!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If anyone recognizes any of the odd referances in Tenn's gibberish, than a slow clap to you. If you have a story request, I will take it!!! I NEED A LIFE!!!!!!!!!! Psh, yeah right. But still. Please review, they feed the plot bunnies. And they're hungary... I hope you all have a lovely Mardi Gras!!!!!!!!!!! Xoxo, ~Tenn Category:Blog posts